When my children were initially diagnosed with ADHD, I felt incredible sadness, overwhem and guilt. Was this my fault? How could I possibly consider medicating my child? Am I ever going to be able to relax again?
I scoured the internet for natural solutions and was overwhelmed. I attended the My Spirited Child conference and the more I knew, the more I realised how much my child was struggling. I was struggling.
I had to find a way to be ok and reduce the overwhelm, otherwise I was going to be of no use to my child. These are my four pieces of wisdom/advice, five years into our ADHD journey.
The Medication Debate
I was a NO WAY mum. I was completely against medicating! Then one day a mum friend suggested I read Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate. Mate describes a prefrontal cortex affected by ADHD as having a police officer who downed the whole box of doughnuts and went off for a sleep instead of directing traffic (thoughts).
Stimulant medications wake the police officer up and send him to work, directing thoughts in a fairly neuro-typical manner. As a side note, I don’t agree with everything Gabor says in this book, but it is well worth the read.
So I HAVE chosen to medicate my children to allow them to keep pace at school. Does it also make my life a little easier? Yes. It allows me to enjoy time with my child and keeps them physically safer due to a reduction in impulsivity. Do I still feel a degree of guilt? Also yes, but I am making the right choice for them, at this point in time, with the information that I have, and I always will.
Conquering Clutter: Navigating ADHD
I have implemented a colour system for our towels and clothes. Each child has a colour and each category has one location. That means that all towels live on a hook outside the bathroom and all clothes live in what essentially looks like a mudroom (no clothes in bedrooms). This means less lost socks and abandoned wet towels under beds.
ADHD vs Chores: The Struggle Is Real
Lower . Your . Expectations.
I see you rolling your eyes, because if you have a child with ADHD, you know getting them to do a task from start to finish can be downright painful.
It is easier to just do it yourself.
I promise you though, the benefit for them is worth it. Stop seeing chores as aleviating your workload and embrace that this is for your child’s development.
I found Beth’s blog valuable on setting chores for your ADHD child if you’re looking for ideas.
Food Triggers and ADHD
A lot of the advice on healthy eating for ADHD is not child friendly. So, my top tips for avoiding food overwhelm as an ADHD parent are:
- Avoid numbers 621 and 635, they are easy to identify and have to be listed on the ingredient list.
- Bake at home, unfortunately the ingredients that makes store bought baked goods last longer (pretionates) are directly linked to hyperactivity in children.
- Keep a food diary. Your children are the best guide to what works for them, you will soon learn what their individual triggers are and then you can simply avoid or limit them moving forward.
Conclusion
These are a few of the things that help contain overwhelm in our home, I would love to hear your tips and tricks for avoiding overwhelm as a parent of children with ADHD, I am always learning.
This blog post has been curated with the assistance of AI Technology
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